The Adventures of Socrates the Cat in the Kremlin

Socrates has travelled into outer space, performed in a theatre, survived the African savanna and escaped from an Australian community that worshipped him as a descendant of a sacred prehistoric lion. Yet his next adventure takes place much closer to home. By extraordinary accident, the cat finds himself inside the Moscow Kremlin, meeting unusual animals, wandering guarded corridors and eventually making the acquaintance of the country's most powerful official. Before he leaves, he will even receive a government appointment. The trouble is that Socrates has no desire to become a politician. He merely wants to go home.

Home at Last — Briefly

Columbus brings Socrates home after the Australian adventure, during which the cat escaped with kangaroo Arum and a veterinarian identified him using his microchip. Katerina, Dmitry and their parents are delighted, Pukha welcomes him in her characteristic quarrelsome fashion, and Socrates is particularly happy to see his beloved white cat Bella. For several days, home is everything he hoped. But birds have grown bold in the garden, mice are trespassing and Pukha seems to imagine she rules the property. Socrates sets out to restore order.

Since befriending laboratory mice in orbit, he refuses to kill them. Nevertheless, he does not want them invading the family home. He visits the clever mouse leader Mavrodi, negotiates with representatives of the mouse families and offers a bargain: if they keep away from the house, he will not hunt them. The agreement becomes a triumph of diplomacy, though troublesome birds are not so easily persuaded. Socrates is happy to spend evenings with Bella and imagines his wandering days are finally over.

A Veterinary Visit Goes Wrong

Katerina takes Socrates to the veterinarian. On the return journey her boyfriend Evgeny telephones, urgently asking her to buy a cable before an electronics store closes. She takes the cat into a large shopping centre. Socrates is fascinated by the wires and devices, recalling the International Space Station, and secretly leaves her backpack to explore. A security guard spots him, and soon several guards are chasing the small intruder through the centre. To escape, Socrates leaps into a woman's open handbag. She does not notice and carries him to an expensive car.

The woman, Olga Borisovna, is clearly important. The car travels through Moscow; at a stop she leaves the handbag on the back seat. Emerging, Socrates explores the luxurious vehicle and accidentally locks its doors. Driver Grigory returns to find a strange cat inside with the telephone and car keys. Another driver, Viktor, suggests showing the cat the unlock button through the window. Socrates understands, presses it and bolts out as the astonished men open the door.

He runs through unfamiliar grounds and suddenly finds himself among golden-domed churches, ancient buildings, tourists and huge monuments. Recognising the Tsar Cannon and Tsar Bell from television, he realises he is in the Moscow Kremlin. There are high walls and guards everywhere, and Socrates has no idea how to leave.

Admiral, the Falcon

He meets Admiral, a powerful falcon employed to frighten troublesome birds away from the Kremlin. Admiral describes damage done by crows to gilded rooftops, and Socrates instantly recognises a fellow sufferer of avian mischief. On learning the cat is lost, the falcon offers to carry him through the air towards the boundary. Terrified but hopeful, Socrates agrees. He flies above historic walls and buildings, recalling his time in weightlessness. But just as escape seems near, Admiral hears a signal summoning him to duty and must set Socrates down inside the grounds. The cat remains trapped.

After a few soldiers jokingly threaten to arrest him, Socrates darts into a guarded building and wanders through staircases, corridors and offices, hiding from the security personnel. At last he encounters a man he recognises from television: the country's highest-ranking official. Socrates fears punishment, but the man speaks kindly and asks whether he is hungry. To Socrates, this is the first truly sensible question anybody has asked all day.

A Meal with the Head of State

In an imposing office, Socrates is offered fruit, vegetables and cottage cheese — all disappointing. Then the man remembers real sturgeon and salmon caviar. The cat is ecstatic. He is treated as an honoured guest and allowed to rest, rather than becoming a prisoner. An assistant photographs him and receives instructions to circulate his picture to find his owner. The staff also bring proper cat food and other necessities. Socrates begins to think that life in the Kremlin has compensations.

During the night a crow named Zhutaime appears at the window. She is inquisitive, learned and talkative, telling Socrates about an extraordinary visit to a university philosophy lecture. She invites him to her home in an attic, reached by a frightening climb along a ledge and drainpipe. The cat manages to follow and finds her nest lined with banknotes collected near cash machines. To the bird, the notes are simply attractive material. Socrates is stunned that she sleeps on what humans consider a small fortune. Their conversation prompts reflections on wealth, happiness and the ridiculous value people attach to money.

The Kremlin's Commissioner for Cats

The next day, the man in the office jokingly appoints Socrates his plenipotentiary representative, or ombudsman for the protection of cats' rights. The self-important philosopher is delighted to add a government title to his achievements as catonaut, actor and alleged sacred animal. His supposed responsibilities include catching mice and fighting corruption. Unfortunately, he has promised not to hunt mice and knows very little about corruption; he is not even consistently able to resist stealing unattended food.

At a video conference with senior officials, Socrates listens to incomprehensible economic language. Growing bored, he grooms himself and stretches in a conspicuous feline manner. Laughter interrupts the meeting, and the official introduces the new protector of cats' rights. Socrates is pleased to win recognition without understanding the debate.

Yuka and the Other Residents

The official introduces him to his dog Yuka, accustomed to affection, attention and privilege. She is initially suspicious of a stranger entering her world. Socrates assures her he has his own home and only wishes to return. They become friends, discuss the demanding schedule of her owner and agree about the importance of treating animals kindly. Socrates learns that power can involve endless obligations and remarkably little freedom.

Yuka shows him the Kremlin kitchen, where he enjoys wonderful salmon, and the stables, where they meet a pony named Valdis and a goose named Hans. The animals quarrel and joke like any occupants of an ordinary household. The Kremlin begins to feel less like an inaccessible fortress and more like an enormous home — but it is not Socrates' home.

An Old Friend Recognises Him

Eventually the staff summon Yuka and Socrates back to the office. A visitor in military uniform looks strangely familiar. Suddenly the man recognises the cat: it is Leonid Sergeyevich, the commander with whom Socrates spent three months aboard the International Space Station. Leonid embraces his former feline passenger and explains that Socrates is the famous catonaut. He still has the Smirnov family's telephone number, having contacted them during the space mission. The mysterious guest has finally been identified. Leonid is asked to contact the relatives and tell them where to collect him.

The book ends before the reunion at home. Socrates has flown over the Kremlin, befriended a falcon and a crow, dined on caviar, met the head of state and acquired an absurdly distinguished position. Yet none of these experiences can replace his family. His greatest happiness is that an old friend has recognised him and can help him return to those who love him.

The Adventures of Socrates the Cat in the Kremlin is a witty, imaginative story of curiosity, power, privilege, friendship and belonging, viewed through the eyes of a cat who measures greatness less by titles than by kindness and loyalty.